Opener

Everything has its start, and here this goes.

All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. Great works are often born on a street corner or in a restaurant's revolving door.

-Albert Camus

It’s a cliché to start out any kind of writing with a quote, and it’s also poor writing to start out a sentence with “it’s” but there you go. That’s the kind of writing corner this is going to be: self critical, but with a refined sense of nonchalance to balance it all out. Chill out, grammar Nazi.

Hope you’re ready for the tangential ramblings of a kid who has big dreams but is crippled by the want to have fun (read: drink excessively and play the occasional video game) and not step on those he cares for, which seems to be the popular way to get to the top nowadays. Or fail so spectacularly and miserably that it gets you record contracts and a fucking returning TV show. I personally have never listened to that one Asian guy that was on American Idol that everyone creams their jeans for (Ping or whatever self prescribed, stock, seemingly racist Asian name he has), or more than whatever The Soup shows of I love New York. Jesus Christ I’m glad we managed to elect Obama, but honestly MTV and VH1 only spouted pro-liberal sentiments so I’m not surprised that people watching any reality shows on those networks non-ironically would vote for change.

But I’m off track, and if you want someone sucking the big black dong of change you have the choice of reading one of a million other internet opinion writers (I really hate the word blog or anything to do with it. Honestly, it sounds like some sick kind of sexual act involving a bowel movement and a dog, and I’ve had nightmares about the fucking blogosphere, but knowing the internet, I’ll bet that that kind of shit is marketable) do it. All I really want to make you do is chuckle every once in a while, maybe make a valid point every entry, and try not bitch about something the whole time. Let’s keep this one short and sweet since there’s no point to this first entry and I’d like to see you make jokes about nothing you Jerry Seinfeld wannabe mother fucker.